marwanism

Some of us have been called to a meeting tomorrow morning for yet another round of tongue-twisting mission. The meeting requires a 40-minute drive in morning traffic which can be taxing to both mental and financial, given the current fuel cost.

One of us is a colleague of mine, H, who is famous for his thrifty every-sen-counts orientation and today he was subjected to my little psychology test. Normally in a work situation like this, he would ask me for a ride to the venue but today before he asked, I sent him an sms:

“Can I get a lift from you tomorrow for the meeting?”

“Oh actually was about to sms you. You drive, I pay you RM10.”

What do you call that?? I was amused but took a couple of hours to compose my thought for a suitable answer. In the process, another colleague, J, showed me an sms, also from H. 

“Can I go with you tomorrow? I pay you RM10.”

We shook our heads and laughed it off. J replied to the sms immediately but I don’t know what he wrote. I finally decided to answer as well just before lunch time.

“Ok, I’ll drive. But please don’t pay me, I don’t run a taxi service. Yet.”

Another colleague tested today was B who is equally known for his strict budgeting. To my initial sms asking for a lift, he replied:

“Don’t think I’ll be driving. Riding my bike. Can’t afford petrol anymore.”

“Ha ha. Can’t be that bad.”, I quickly replied.

“I’ll let you know tonight. Haven’t decided yet. But I do have a few stops to make after the meeting, if I drive. I hope you don’t mind stopping here and there.”

I chuckled to that for minutes! Excuses people give… can we at least be more crafty than that? I decided to go blunt.

“Oh I dislike stopping here and there. Never mind, I’m getting another direct ride.”

It’s a good thing that people have invented the Internet. Apart from easy accessibility to ‘prawn’, it has done many people a lot of good by cutting down dependencies on customer service personnel — the sulky faces you see at the counters and indifferent school-leavers waiting the tables. While I have to admit that things have improved in terms of how these so-called frontliners treat their fellow human beings, there are still many bad apples out there, living at the mercy of fellow Malaysians who are unnecessarily forgiving of their third-world treatment.

Enter me. I can’t stand bad customer service. I do not expect first class or being treated like royalty. I just wish to be conferred with humane treatment for what my money is worth. Since more upmarket establishments charge 10% of the total bill for ‘Service Charge’, every smile, every nicety counts.

Once I was at a Secret Recipe outlet on what seemed to be a very bad day — my camera had broken earlier in the day — in Kota Bharu. I was hoping that an order of “Brownie of the Day” and coffee would slightly alleviate the anger I had and would lighten my head a little. The set was featured on those laminated little flyers on the table. The service was wonderful and my order came in no time, except that what was presented before me was not a brownie but a slice of apple pie. 

“Sorry but I ordered brownie of the day”, I told the waiter without a trace of anger or disgust since it can happen, the case of mistaken order.

“Yes sir, this is the brownie of the day”, said the waiter, pushing the dessert place nearer to me. I was beginning to feel funny.

“But this is not a brownie. This is apple pie. Brownie is one of those…”, I pointed at the glass display cabinet in which slices of those sinfully delicious confectionery enticed everyone.

“Oh sir, for that one, you have to add money“, he quickly responded in an increasingly patronising tone. And what a bad choice of expression. Yes he said kena tambah duit.

I was already on Level 2 of 5 of my ‘Piss-o-meter’ when I called another waiter who had been eyeing us from the other corner of the outlet. 

“Tell me what this is!”. No ‘please’ or ‘could you tell me’ from me at that juncture anymore.

“Errr… apple pie, sir”.

“Exactly. It’s not a brownie, kan? I ordered Brownie of the Day and he served me apple pie!”

“But sir…”

“Never mind, I’d like to see your manager. Where’s the manager?”

There was no need for him to ger the person in-charge as my vocal projection was loud enough to be audible within a 1-km radius already.

He came and I asked him the same question. His answer was the same too: apple pie. I stabbed him deeper than I did the two waiters. I think I was pointing out to him how those laminated little flyers on the tables had been misleading and that the restaurant was cheating customers. I can’t recall my exact words although at the end of my ranting, I remember all eyes were on me and the manager quickly went off to get a slice of the real thing.

I took every mouthful of the brownie with an inevitable sense of victory. Me against the boy who told me to tambah duit. And the establishment which intentionally or otherwise considered apple pie to fall under Brownie of the Day category.

My woes over the broken camera didn’t subside. But as I scraped the last bit of the brownie off the plate, I felt a sense of sympathy to the three young men involved. They were just being mere employees there and I shouldn’t have been so harsh. But then again knowing how defensive they can be, perhaps my harshness was the only option for me to exercise my customer right.

Before I left, I apologised to the manager anyway. I quickly told him to take the Brownie of the Day promo off the table or I’d tell the authorities.

If cynicism takes a physical form, this is it!